"Fame, bully for you, chilly for me.
Got to get a rain check on pain. Fame"
Bowie
New Year's Eve
Photos of her partying show her in a skimpy fishnet and bustier outfit but with a pink cuff covering over her Dave Doyle tattoo. It is now pretty much universally believed that the relationship is over. Nothing in Jodie's blogs sounds remotely like the words of a woman in love with anyone but herself.
1st January 2007.
The blog mentions all the good things that have happened during year including "falling in love (with Dave)" Several Musher's point out that she has been 'in love' with more than one Dave over the past year. She says that she, her family and a couple of dozen of her hangers-on went ice skating a few days earlier and that Dave left at midnight as he had a DJing gig. She sleeps at her parents' house with Sarah. Dave apparently phones her when he finishes work at 5am but she was asleep and, therefore, incoherent. Again, it is very telling that, on NYE, rather than going to the club where her fiancé is working, she chooses instead to go to her regular haunt with all her friends.
New Year's Day she still doesn't spend time with her fiancé. Dave apparently stays with his family and she sleeps in her own bed.
2nd January 2007.
Jodie blogs about taking down her Christmas trees and tidying her house. Dave is apparently DJing again. She claims to have been reading her old blogs, and then says something really quite extraordinary - at least for someone newly engaged. It's a long, rambling passage about how no man would ever be able to upset or hurt her again. And after making her declaration of independence, she spends the next 500 words telling us that she loves life, she loves herself, she loves God, her family, her friends... but, bizarrely, no mention of Dave, her fiancé. Then she goes off to bed with her dogs, Paddy and Lyla, again.
Meanwhile, over on MySpace...
3rd January 2007.
A flurry of messages between Jodie and Freddy appear, Jodie is asking for advice on men. "thank you Dr Love. Much appreciated. Tomorrow at about 11am suit you?! lol. Seriously, after our little chat I am soooooo over all men (except Dave of course!) ;) You made me realise how special I am and how unworthy they are!" And again, there's the tacked on 'this is not about Dave' but the sly ;) and the fact that the comment makes no sense coming from someone in a relationship, would suggest that she is being less than honest. Jodie frequently refers to 'internet freaks' and 'stalkers' who follow her conversations on MySpace; could these throwaway, unconvincing 'I'm still with Dave' comments be her cack-handed attempt to cover her tracks? And why would someone in a settled relationship be telling a male friend (Freddy) that she "should have snapped him up ages ago."?
Her blog, which is ranting about tabloid columnist Carol Malone, includes the line "The woman pretends to be a journalist but she's actually more desperate to be famous than I am for a shag right now!" Curiouser and curiouser for 'the human Viagra'.
4th January 2007.
Back over on MySpace, Jodie leaves another message for Freddy. "Oh praise the lord - i have just had the best email in the world. its regarding what we were just talking about. i have a way out!!!!!!!!!!!" Obviously, without knowing what Jodie and Freddy have been discussing, the message remains pretty cryptic. However, as we shall see, all will become clear eventually. Jodie also manages to toss a 'lock up your sons' comment into the conversation (this is a red flag to the Mushers, as Jodie almost always uses it when a relationship comes to an end). Jodie's blog of the same day is largely a rant about the MySpace 'freaks and stalkers'. There is no mention of Dave.
5th January 2007.
Another message to Freddy. "oi if you're going to spearmint [lap dancing club] then I'm coming!!! no.. seriously! lock up your sons forever!!!!!"
Ok. Is there anybody reading this who still thinks Jodie and Dave are an item at this point? Anyone? Thought not.
6th January 2007.
In a message on her brother's MySpace page, Jodie reveals that she's off to get a tattoo. No mention of Dave.
8th January 2007.
Jodie puts a video of her dog Paddy on her MySpace page with the comment "This is the best (and only) man in my life"
9th January 2007.
The Tattoo Cover Up
A photograph on the MySpace page of another of Jodie's friends clearly shows that she has had the tattoo on her hand of Dave's name covered with a new tattoo - of rosary beads.
10th January 2007.
Jodie's blog today is short and to the point. "Just a quickie - I'm in OK magazine this week. It's a big at home spread with me and Dave and Paddy and Lyla. Go get it!... ...There's loads of pics and a really nice interview. Enjoy." The 'really nice interview' is her and Dave gushing about their incredible, fairytale romance and the wonderful way it started. In fact, it is in this interview that Jodie and Dave finally share the beautiful story of their love with the world. Jodie tells OK that, after finding her amazing soulmate on MySpace, she arranged to meet with Dave 'in the flesh'. With her eyes fixed firmly on the fantasy, she insists that they must kiss before speaking a single word. At their meeting, she produces a series of Post-It notes asking Dave not to speak and, ludicrously, asking him to marry her. They kiss, he's then allowed to speak and VOILA! Jodie is engaged!
Thrilling? Romantic? Exciting? Or is it, in fact, just desperate? Where are her friends and family while she is moving this total stranger into her house and having his name tattooed across her hand? According to her blog, they're all delighted for her. "Even my mum [has] said to me 'you should write a book on this!'" Really? Wow! I can tell you that, if it was my daughter, I'd be too busy getting her some serious psychiatric help to even think about 'what a great story it'd make'. Maybe that's just me though.
11th January 2007.
New pictures appear on Dave's MySpace, of him surrounded by girls and he has also removed references to his 'sexy fiancée Jodie Marsh'.
16th January 2007.
And finally, almost three weeks after suspicions that all is not well first surface, Jodie decides to 'end her engagement' with her usual class and decorum, by posting a blog entitled Dave Doyle you are dumped!
Jodie copies a couple of emails into the blog, that purport to come from 'a friend' of Dave's ex-fiancée Aleisha. The emails describe how, on New Year's Eve, Dave spent the night with Aleisha, and include enough details to convince Jodie of their veracity. What seems strange however, is that the emails are sent more than two weeks after the 'infidelity' in question. Why would someone wait that long? Why did Jodie claim, two weeks earlier, that Dave called her on NYE at 5am but that she was 'incoherent'? And what might Jodie have been referring to back on the 4th when she messaged Freddy with "Oh praise the lord - i have just had the best email in the world. its regarding what we were just talking about. i have a way out!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Over the next week or so, both Dave and Jodie sell their version of events to different publications. Inevitably, Jodie also blogs about the whole story - at length. This proves to be Jodie's downfall. She is clearly unable to remember the various lies she's told, contradicting herself about how and when events took place. While no-one should be surprised that Dave and Jodie have different versions of this, now soured, fairytale romance, one thing becomes absolutely clear: Jodie's dates do not add up. Not even nearly. There is no doubt whatsoever that Jodie Marsh was urging her fans to rush out and buy OK magazine, knowing that her relationship was over. So, even though she and Dave had split up, she decided to keep quiet about it until after she had milked the publicity of the spread. And then, with breathtaking cheek, she sold her lies about the break-up as well.
Who remembers Jodie's message to the press, when Dave had sold his story? Here's a reminder: "Therefore if you still choose to run a story full of lies about me then I have NO desire to ever work with you again as you will be scamming the public into buying something that's not true." And yet it's fine for Jodie to scam her own fans into buying something that isn't true?
Jodie and Dave's 'relationship' survived for just four weeks. In the space of a month it went from heart-stopping, breathless 'true-love', the pinnacle of passion and romance, to vicious loathing and bile-filled rants. But, perhaps most tragically of all, it really is just another episode in the increasingly desperate and deluded world of Jodie Marsh. She would be pitiable if she wasn't so unutterably dislikeable. I read her blogs and am astonished by the bigotry, bullying, selfishness and spite. I laugh at the unintentional comedy, marvel at the overweening delusion and shudder at her breathtaking arrogance and self-obsession. More and more though, I find myself watching this desperate shell of a woman, spiralling further and further out of control, with increasing alarm; I can't help but wonder where it's going to end. It doesn't look happy, it doesn't look like fun. It looks like someone tearing at life with increasing desperation, searching for the next moment of 'fun', in the hope that, somehow, it will drown out the screaming doubt and insecurity in their head.
Look at this girl, look at her life. This is empty fame. Look at where it leads, what it costs, who you have to become to hold onto it. Jodie Marsh calls herself a role model but, in truth, she is really a cautionary tale.
Niki Shisler February 2007
"Fame. What's your name?"