Well, as expected, Jodie decided to blog about 'internet hate campaigns' and, also as expected, she attacked the critics rather than the criticism. Her opening salvo on the appearance of this site was fairly restrained but, it later transpired, this was because her new TV show (Get a Life) had just started and the production had asked her not to react publicly. But, on February 28th she wrote.

It's absurd that people can hate me with a passion without having ever met me. Although deep down they already know that they are absurd; they just need someone to take their bitterness and anger out on - glad I could be of help really! Woohoo! My life hasn't been in vain! I have served a purpose to humanity, I have been a human punch-bag and I have given sad, desperate & lonely people a reason to live!!!! Keep hating if it makes you feel better. I LOVE it!!!!! Yippeeeeeeee!

Classic Jodie, attacking the messenger not the message. It's a truly bizarre reaction though, and almost completely nonsensical. In reply I can really only say 'don't flatter yourself Marsh'.

Get a Life is cancelled after just 2 episodes and, it appears, Jodie has been let off the leash. Her blog of 16th March is a masterpiece of delusion, contradiction and hypocrisy, with some classic Jodie-isms. The way she lashes out and her reasoning is incredibly telling - giving a clear picture of her priorities and perspective. Most of all though, it demonstrates just how blinkered she is and how little she understands the world, other people and normal relationships. If this is what life looks like to Jodie, it can't be much fun being her. In fact, there is so much material in this particular blog that a Musher-style blog dissection seems the best way to go.

Starting with the title - How to deal with haters and how to get ahead in life! I'm not sure what Jodie thinks qualifies her to give advice on getting ahead in life. As we will see, her own life and career appear to be in free-fall. Still, let's see what pearls of wisdom she's dispensing.

Ok folks today I want to talk about jealous people. I'm not talking about myself here. I've had some messages from people asking me for help. Basically a group of pretty girls are being bullied on the internet. A small group of weirdos have set up a hate site about these girls and are spending all day slagging them off. The girls have asked me what to do about it and are really upset.

These 'pretty girls' are ostensibly the reason for the blog. They are 3 young women calling themselves 'The Plastics', who are trying to establish themselves as professional party and PR girls. I was unable to find the hate site Jodie refers to though. If it exists (and I can see that it might - The Plastics do appear to be fairly annoying) it's clearly pretty small and low key. Unlike Jodie's own vast and vociferous hater communities.

My advice is this: totally ignore them. There's no point getting in an argument with them and there's no point stooping to their level. The reason they are being like this is because they are jealous; so feel flattered that your very existence bothers them. If you were a nobody or had nothing to be jealous about then they wouldn't even notice you. The fact that they have noticed you and gone as far as to set up a hate website, shows the world that THEY are jealous of YOU.

Hmm. Now, obviously, without seeing the site Jodie's referring to it's hard to know what inspired it. Maybe it is jealousy, maybe it's something the girls have done; there could be a thousand reasons, we have no way of knowing.

Now I know I've slagged people off on here (only when they've slagged me off first though) but I always tell people "do as I say, don't do as I do". When I write on here; I treat it like I am writing a personal diary and I don't even think about who might read it. I write honestly and openly about my feelings on any given subject (which sometimes might include people who have really pissed me off).

Jodie often says she only criticises people who have criticised her first, but it's a lie. There are plenty of examples of Jodie's blog laying into public figures who probably don't even know who she is, let alone be the ones to start trading public insults. That aside, we come to "do as I say, don't do as I do" - fine words from the self-appointed role-model. Acknowledging ones own hypocrisy doesn't make it any better, but Jodie seems to think that it's ok for her to play by a completely different set of rules and, not only does she frequently rant about people in her life (who have no public platform or right of reply) she breaches the privacy of almost everyone around her on a daily basis.

Another of her affectations is that she 'never thinks about people reading her blog' - it's just done for herself, a deeply personal, on-line diary. I'm not sure how this squares with her bragging about '2 million hits a month', nor does it explain the frequent 'shout-outs' to friends and family, the blatant plugs for freebies, open letters to her latest crushes (or, when she's particularly desperate, to their mothers) and so on. If the blogs are really written just for herself, if they are truly just personal thoughts and emotionally therapeutic for her, why publish them at all? What's wrong with privacy?

Tell me ONE thing they will get out of slagging you off? You can't! It doesn't make them feel better (they know deep down that they are jealous bitter people). It doesn't add to their life in any way! In fact it probably makes them sink even lower in what is an already crap existence; cos what happens is that it becomes the main thing in their life. They can't wait to get online and have a bitch about you! How sad is that?! I can think of FAR more interesting things to do with my time than be desperate to get online to bitch about someone I don't even know! For example; think of all the girlie nights out, fit men, walks in the park with their dogs and money rolling in that they are missing out on while they sit and bitch behind a computer screen. While people like us are having all the fun; they are doing nothing but sitting in a dingy flat at a computer screen; alone. Feel sorry for them!

Oh god, where to start? Obviously, we are no longer talking about 'The Plastics'. Perhaps we should begin with something that Jodie will never understand - community. A few days ago the Mush site welcomed its thousandth member. The set of assumptions Jodie is making about her critics here is quite breathtaking. 'Crap existence', 'jealous bitter people' and that last sentence! Alone in a dingy flat? Perhaps Jodie needs to tell herself this, so she can avoid having to deal with the truth of what people think of her. It's like a mantra - 'they're bitter and jealous, bitter and jealous, bitter and jealous la la la la la I can't hear them...'

One of the Mushers, Typing-Frog, posts this response. "I don't have to sell my soul and my self respect for a few quid (judging by your house and the places you go Jodie, I actually have more money than you, I take better holidays also but I don't feel the need to list them off to prove myself unlike you). What exactly about you is there to be jealous about, your flagging career which is based only on your ability to hoist your norks up with 2 bras, lick your lips in a comical fake porn way? Your 2 show TV career on Living? Your inability to keep boyfriends? (Kid yourself all you like sweetheart, they go running for the hills) Your complete and utter need to be surrounded by people all the time, your inability to be in your own company for more than a few hours?

I feel pity for you, not jealousy and I feel sorry for anyone that thinks you have the answers to anything. You haven't dealt with your own demons, so you really shouldn't be dishing out advice to anyone.'

Another one of the Mushers, Diane Dean, writes with further insight "Surely at the core of all this is Jodie's total, complete and absolute ignorance of WHY her site is so addictive. She genuinely has no idea why people would want to become obsessed with her outside of her own understanding of what she is (and that is very very small). Jodie. You are funny. Really really funny. Your life, your crises, your opinions, your passions, your pets - they are all screamingly hysterical. No, I know you don't understand that, but there it is. Why otherwise do so many disparate strangers gather together just to rake over the detail of a relatively obscure dunderheads life? Rage? Envy? Lust? You must know all those would peter out before long. No it's because you are, to many, a living embodiment of both Little Britain and David Brent. The fact that you cannot fathom that just makes it funnier. The fact that even now you are weighing up this post for imagined spite only underlines the joke and makes us want to milk you for more. Every new post, fad and obsession, every slang word, small town hoo-ha and exclamation mark is, to us, a catch phrase to be greeted with warmth and rolled around our funny bones like the latest instalment of our favourite show. That's what you are. Our favourite show. The moment you get it - it's over. That's why this will just run and run and run. You are a precious rare living gag to be savoured. And that, I promise you, is not a joke."

Jodie continues, with a bizarre slide into what can only be described as idiocy...

People who get hooked on internet forums are people who are lacking REAL things in life. The internet isn't real. It should be used to promote things or stay in touch with people who are far away! It shouldn't be used as entertainment ie. I talk to MSN Boy online cos he's in another country and it costs a bomb to call each other. If I want entertainment for the night, I invite friends over or go out and party or even go to the gym (or would have MSN Boy over for a night of fun - which WILL happen as soon as he gets back). I would never sit looking at forums or websites for fun. We only live once and I sure as hell won't waste my time on earth sitting at a computer screen talking to lonely (and possibly screwed up) people.