Oh dear Jodie! Are you really that stupid?
Is it even possible? Or
is it that you have so little regard for the intelligence of your
fans that you think they'll actually believe this crap? The internet
isn't real? It's for promotion or connecting with people who are far
away? This from a woman who leaves MySpace messages for her own
brother, the one who lives 5 minutes up the road and who she talks
to every day. And if it's not for entertainment, why would you
regularly claim that you blog is exactly that (when you're not
claiming it's a personal, on-line diary just for you, that is)?
Your fans (those that you still have) that you're forever asking to
read your blog and message your MySpace, how are they supposed to
feel when you describe them as 'lonely' and 'screwed up'? And, in
any case, which is sadder - a bunch of people forming a community to
share jokes, chat, entertain and support each other while they're at
work, Or a past-her-prime glamour model sitting up all night to have
virtual sex with a random internet man? I know which I'd rather be.
A few days after posting this blog, Jodie writes about an evening
spent at home watching a stranger masturbate via webcam, saying "Webcams
are the way forward! What more could you want in the way of
entertainment on a Thursday night?!" I don't know about you, but
I'm certainly confused - does Jodie think the internet is for
entertainment or not? I guess that depends on whether it's Jodie
using it, or one of the 'jealous internet freaks'.
It's also interesting that, in a blog that mentions her huge income
in almost every paragraph, she also reveals that she doesn't phone
'MSN man' because of the cost. It's hard to keep track of the
contradictions and hypocrisy in just that paragraph. Marsh actually
seems to struggle to remain consistent from one end of a sentence to
Still, moving on -
There are hate sites set up for me. Do you think I look at them?
Do I hell! They can hate all they want - at least they know who I
Another lie, and this one's a corker. As I will show, Jodie does
indeed look at her hate sites and, despite her claims otherwise,
they do bother her. The next part of this article will look at the steps
Jodie has taken to silence her critics but, for now, let's continue
with the blog.
I'd far rather be talked about than not and you know what they
say; there's a fine line between love and hate. Anyone who hates me
probably wants to BE me!
Oh for fuck's sake! What is she on? I read a sentence like
that and... I mean, how can an adult woman possibly believe
this crap? A fine line between love and hate? Only in pop songs and
chick-lit Jodie, not in the real world where the grown-ups live. I
presume this is what her mummy and daddy told her, to try and
explain why she was so unpopular at school. Perhaps though, she
should have been taught to examine her own behaviour and social
skills, and to take some responsibility for the way she is
As for me (or anyone, for that matter) wanting to BE Jodie... Why,
would I swap my life, my happy marriage, gorgeous kids, successful
career and respect of my peers for a pointless existence as a
national laughing stock, reviled in the press and unable to sustain
an adult relationship for more than 5 minutes? I look at Jodie and I
see a woman who measures her success by how many teenage boys are
masturbating over her picture and how many free vodkas a club will
lay on for her. A woman so desperate for attention that she even
visits her local pub in little more than a bra, pants and the
end-of-day sweepings from the floor of Claire's Accessories.
And even if they don't [want to be me] then they at least
would want to earn the money I do and have the fun I have cos who
Well, let's define 'fun' shall we? When I was 18 getting dressed in
outrageous outfits, getting smashed, clubbing, parties, doing stupid
things, silly games, pulling blokes... Yes, that was my idea of fun.
Like most people though, I eventually got bored with the teenage
lifestyle. I wanted more from life, from relationships, from work. I
was interested in the world around me, politics, culture, travel; I
wanted to grow intellectually and spiritually. As Jodie enters her
29th year, she prides herself on the fact that her life
has not moved on, accusing those friends and peers who begin to shun
the party scene of being 'boring'. She yearns for the club scene of
the early 90's, recalling it as a time of wild fun and daring
adventure - apparently unable to see that it is her that is
out-of-step. I remember when I was a teenager, occasionally seeing
people in the clubs I visited who were nearing their 30's. With the
arrogance of youth, my friends and I would laugh at the 'oldies',
thinking they looked 'desperate'.
As Jodie clings to the behaviour that was excusable 10 years
earlier, as she openly lusts and leers over 16 and 17 year old boys
(even publicly fantasising about sex with them in their school
uniform) she imagines it makes her seem youthful. In fact though, it
actually looks like arrested development, she appears pathologically
locked into behaviour patterns that keep the adult world at arms
length. It doesn't look like fun, it looks like a paralysing fear of
What about the money she makes? Jodie often talks about 'taking the
quickest and easiest route to making money' but how well is she
really doing? She has just bought (with a mortgage) her first home,
a small semi, close to her parents' house. But, as someone who comes
from an affluent family and who has benefited from an expensive,
private education, owning a modest property by their late 20's is
hardly impressive. Of course there's her 'intimidator', specially
imported, monster SUV (another jaw-droppingly hypocritical choice
for the 'animal loving' Marsh) and her motorbike collection as well,
showing that she's hardly on the breadline, but if you're trying to
impress people with your incredible earning power, you need to be
doing rather better than this.
I was at school with a couple of girls who made getting rich their
priority. From school they headed straight to the City and the stock
market, they were both retired by 30. One of them had retired to the
Cayman Islands. I have other friends with high-flying careers in
law, medicine, retail or the media who are earning, I am certain, a
damn sight more than Jodie. She may brag constantly about her
'genius level' IQ, but she certainly hasn't applied this
intelligence to earning really serious money.
Just to be clear, I accept that Jodie probably makes a comfortable
living. And while I certainly don't judge the success of a life by
looking at its bank-balance, Jodie clearly does. She frequently
cites her wealth as evidence of her own success and yet, when you
really look closely at it, she hasn't actually done any better than
you might expect from someone with her background, privilege and
opportunities. Indeed, compared to many, she has done considerably
These people are obsessed cos they don't have anything else to
fill their days with! If it weren't for me (giving them something to
live for) they would probably all be in rehab or hooked on drugs
(neither of which is a good thing).
Much as I'm grateful for the heads-up on the perils of addiction
(not a good thing? Who knew?) this is another sentence that I really
can't let pass without comment. It's another absurd assumption that
bears absolutely no relation to the truth. Firstly, I'm a writer and
a journalist; commenting on the lives of public figures is part of
my (extremely well-paid) job. But leaving me aside, what about the
1,000+ members of the Mush community? Far from being lonely,
near-junkies with empty lives, most of them have jobs, families,
friends, relationships... Jodie's absolute inability to understand
the simple pleasure of a light-hearted, banter-filled, friendly and
supportive community that requires little effort, and can be dropped
in and out of as life and mood dictates is truly sad. That she
considers envy and loneliness to be the only possible motivation for
the Mushers says everything about her own state of mind.
You are cool. You look good. You are fun and sexy and clever.
Naturally this makes people who are NOT all these things jealous of
you and the only way they can deal with that is to be horrible to
Yep, keep telling yourself that Jodie, maybe you even believe it.
But, seriously, do you really, honestly, believe that the
only reason people dislike you is because they're jealous? I
hate to break it to you, but you have the least enviable life of
just about any celebrity I can think of. Truly, I read your blogs
and all I can think is how unutterably desperate and empty it all
There's a good reason God made me famous at the age of 23
(and not at the age of 17 when I first wanted it).
Oh do shut up you absurd, deluded twat! I don't even have the words
to describe how monumentally brainless that sentence is. I am torn
between thinking this is actually the way Jodie's mind works, and
thinking that it's simply not possible for a grown woman to say
something like this and keep a straight face.
Do I care if a group of people I've never met don't like me or
want to talk about me all day? Er... no. In fact I enjoy the thought
of people being bothered by me cos it means I'm doing something
right! They can't get enough of me!!!!!!!!
I'm just flagging this for your later attention. Just remember - she
doesn't care about her critics (again) and, in fact, enjoys the
attention. Oh, hang on, there's more.
If I was a serial-killer then it'd be a different story - they'd
be talking about me for all the wrong reasons (and cos I was a
wrong-un) but I'm not. I'm a normal girl from Essex who has a good
career, lots of fun, an outrageous dress sense, an amazing family
and tight group of friends. I slag people off every now and then and
I stand up for what I believe in but hey; I'm basically a good
person. So then, let them talk! If they're more bothered by me than
someone like Fred West, well then heck - I'm not complaining! I
obviously have a BIG impact on some (which was always my intention
anyway - I NEVER wanted to be a wall flower blending into the
Well, that seems clear enough doesn't it? The huge, well organised
community of anti-fans is, in Jodie's eyes, a good thing. No such
thing as bad publicity, rather be talked about than ignored, etc,
I was going to reply to each of these girls personally but the
reason I chose to write a blog about it instead is that I'm sure
there are lots of other people out there who are going through
similar things and who don't know what to do about it! I thought my
"words of wisdom" might help someone out there (as well as these
This isn't about Jodie, remember? It's about the 'group of pretty
girls'. If I was rolling my eyes any more than I already am, I'd be
staring at the inside of my skull.
Quote for the day: "It's gonna be a long hard drag, but we'll
make it!" Janis Joplin
Ah yes, Janice Joplin - with her amazing story of survival against
the odds. Good call Jodie!
So - there it is. Jodie's opening salvo in her response to the
Mushers and, I presume, this site. The on-line outpouring of
loathing and scorn that she attracts is, at least to her, proof that
she's doing something right. Nearly 2,000 words to tell the world
that she's not bothered about her critics and, in fact, she enjoys
the attention. Her advice to The Plastics is to ignore the haters,
and to get on with their own fun-filled lives regardless. It's good
advice actually, it's certainly what I would have advised them to do
and, presumably, Jodie will be marking her own words and rising
above the chorus of boos coming from the Mush community. Won't she?