Is it even possible? Or is it that you have so little regard for the intelligence of your fans that you think they'll actually believe this crap? The internet isn't real? It's for promotion or connecting with people who are far away? This from a woman who leaves MySpace messages for her own brother, the one who lives 5 minutes up the road and who she talks to every day. And if it's not for entertainment, why would you regularly claim that you blog is exactly that (when you're not claiming it's a personal, on-line diary just for you, that is)?

Your fans (those that you still have) that you're forever asking to read your blog and message your MySpace, how are they supposed to feel when you describe them as 'lonely' and 'screwed up'? And, in any case, which is sadder - a bunch of people forming a community to share jokes, chat, entertain and support each other while they're at work, Or a past-her-prime glamour model sitting up all night to have virtual sex with a random internet man? I know which I'd rather be.

A few days after posting this blog, Jodie writes about an evening spent at home watching a stranger masturbate via webcam, saying "Webcams are the way forward! What more could you want in the way of entertainment on a Thursday night?!" I don't know about you, but I'm certainly confused - does Jodie think the internet is for entertainment or not? I guess that depends on whether it's Jodie using it, or one of the 'jealous internet freaks'.

It's also interesting that, in a blog that mentions her huge income in almost every paragraph, she also reveals that she doesn't phone 'MSN man' because of the cost. It's hard to keep track of the contradictions and hypocrisy in just that paragraph. Marsh actually seems to struggle to remain consistent from one end of a sentence to the other.

Still, moving on -

There are hate sites set up for me. Do you think I look at them? Do I hell! They can hate all they want - at least they know who I am!

Another lie, and this one's a corker. As I will show, Jodie does indeed look at her hate sites and, despite her claims otherwise, they do bother her. The next part of this article will look at the steps Jodie has taken to silence her critics but, for now, let's continue with the blog.

I'd far rather be talked about than not and you know what they say; there's a fine line between love and hate. Anyone who hates me probably wants to BE me!

Oh for fuck's sake! What is she on? I read a sentence like that and... I mean, how can an adult woman possibly believe this crap? A fine line between love and hate? Only in pop songs and chick-lit Jodie, not in the real world where the grown-ups live. I presume this is what her mummy and daddy told her, to try and explain why she was so unpopular at school. Perhaps though, she should have been taught to examine her own behaviour and social skills, and to take some responsibility for the way she is perceived.

As for me (or anyone, for that matter) wanting to BE Jodie... Why, why, why would I swap my life, my happy marriage, gorgeous kids, successful career and respect of my peers for a pointless existence as a national laughing stock, reviled in the press and unable to sustain an adult relationship for more than 5 minutes? I look at Jodie and I see a woman who measures her success by how many teenage boys are masturbating over her picture and how many free vodkas a club will lay on for her. A woman so desperate for attention that she even visits her local pub in little more than a bra, pants and the end-of-day sweepings from the floor of Claire's Accessories.

And even if they don't [want to be me] then they at least would want to earn the money I do and have the fun I have cos who wouldn't?!

Well, let's define 'fun' shall we? When I was 18 getting dressed in outrageous outfits, getting smashed, clubbing, parties, doing stupid things, silly games, pulling blokes... Yes, that was my idea of fun. Like most people though, I eventually got bored with the teenage lifestyle. I wanted more from life, from relationships, from work. I was interested in the world around me, politics, culture, travel; I wanted to grow intellectually and spiritually. As Jodie enters her 29th year, she prides herself on the fact that her life has not moved on, accusing those friends and peers who begin to shun the party scene of being 'boring'. She yearns for the club scene of the early 90's, recalling it as a time of wild fun and daring adventure - apparently unable to see that it is her that is out-of-step. I remember when I was a teenager, occasionally seeing people in the clubs I visited who were nearing their 30's. With the arrogance of youth, my friends and I would laugh at the 'oldies', thinking they looked 'desperate'.

As Jodie clings to the behaviour that was excusable 10 years earlier, as she openly lusts and leers over 16 and 17 year old boys (even publicly fantasising about sex with them in their school uniform) she imagines it makes her seem youthful. In fact though, it actually looks like arrested development, she appears pathologically locked into behaviour patterns that keep the adult world at arms length. It doesn't look like fun, it looks like a paralysing fear of change.

What about the money she makes? Jodie often talks about 'taking the quickest and easiest route to making money' but how well is she really doing? She has just bought (with a mortgage) her first home, a small semi, close to her parents' house. But, as someone who comes from an affluent family and who has benefited from an expensive, private education, owning a modest property by their late 20's is hardly impressive. Of course there's her 'intimidator', specially imported, monster SUV (another jaw-droppingly hypocritical choice for the 'animal loving' Marsh) and her motorbike collection as well, showing that she's hardly on the breadline, but if you're trying to impress people with your incredible earning power, you need to be doing rather better than this.

I was at school with a couple of girls who made getting rich their priority. From school they headed straight to the City and the stock market, they were both retired by 30. One of them had retired to the Cayman Islands. I have other friends with high-flying careers in law, medicine, retail or the media who are earning, I am certain, a damn sight more than Jodie. She may brag constantly about her 'genius level' IQ, but she certainly hasn't applied this intelligence to earning really serious money.

Just to be clear, I accept that Jodie probably makes a comfortable living. And while I certainly don't judge the success of a life by looking at its bank-balance, Jodie clearly does. She frequently cites her wealth as evidence of her own success and yet, when you really look closely at it, she hasn't actually done any better than you might expect from someone with her background, privilege and opportunities. Indeed, compared to many, she has done considerably worse.

These people are obsessed cos they don't have anything else to fill their days with! If it weren't for me (giving them something to live for) they would probably all be in rehab or hooked on drugs (neither of which is a good thing).

Much as I'm grateful for the heads-up on the perils of addiction (not a good thing? Who knew?) this is another sentence that I really can't let pass without comment. It's another absurd assumption that bears absolutely no relation to the truth. Firstly, I'm a writer and a journalist; commenting on the lives of public figures is part of my (extremely well-paid) job. But leaving me aside, what about the 1,000+ members of the Mush community? Far from being lonely, near-junkies with empty lives, most of them have jobs, families, friends, relationships... Jodie's absolute inability to understand the simple pleasure of a light-hearted, banter-filled, friendly and supportive community that requires little effort, and can be dropped in and out of as life and mood dictates is truly sad. That she considers envy and loneliness to be the only possible motivation for the Mushers says everything about her own state of mind.

You are cool. You look good. You are fun and sexy and clever. Naturally this makes people who are NOT all these things jealous of you and the only way they can deal with that is to be horrible to you.

Yep, keep telling yourself that Jodie, maybe you even believe it. But, seriously, do you really, honestly, believe that the only reason people dislike you is because they're jealous? I hate to break it to you, but you have the least enviable life of just about any celebrity I can think of. Truly, I read your blogs and all I can think is how unutterably desperate and empty it all is.

There's a good reason God made me famous at the age of 23 (and not at the age of 17 when I first wanted it).

Oh do shut up you absurd, deluded twat! I don't even have the words to describe how monumentally brainless that sentence is. I am torn between thinking this is actually the way Jodie's mind works, and thinking that it's simply not possible for a grown woman to say something like this and keep a straight face.

Do I care if a group of people I've never met don't like me or want to talk about me all day? Er... no. In fact I enjoy the thought of people being bothered by me cos it means I'm doing something right! They can't get enough of me!!!!!!!!

I'm just flagging this for your later attention. Just remember - she doesn't care about her critics (again) and, in fact, enjoys the attention. Oh, hang on, there's more.

If I was a serial-killer then it'd be a different story - they'd be talking about me for all the wrong reasons (and cos I was a wrong-un) but I'm not. I'm a normal girl from Essex who has a good career, lots of fun, an outrageous dress sense, an amazing family and tight group of friends. I slag people off every now and then and I stand up for what I believe in but hey; I'm basically a good person. So then, let them talk! If they're more bothered by me than someone like Fred West, well then heck - I'm not complaining! I obviously have a BIG impact on some (which was always my intention anyway - I NEVER wanted to be a wall flower blending into the background!)

Well, that seems clear enough doesn't it? The huge, well organised community of anti-fans is, in Jodie's eyes, a good thing. No such thing as bad publicity, rather be talked about than ignored, etc, etc...

I was going to reply to each of these girls personally but the reason I chose to write a blog about it instead is that I'm sure there are lots of other people out there who are going through similar things and who don't know what to do about it! I thought my "words of wisdom" might help someone out there (as well as these girls).

This isn't about Jodie, remember? It's about the 'group of pretty girls'. If I was rolling my eyes any more than I already am, I'd be staring at the inside of my skull.

Quote for the day: "It's gonna be a long hard drag, but we'll make it!" Janis Joplin

Ah yes, Janice Joplin - with her amazing story of survival against the odds. Good call Jodie!

So - there it is. Jodie's opening salvo in her response to the Mushers and, I presume, this site. The on-line outpouring of loathing and scorn that she attracts is, at least to her, proof that she's doing something right. Nearly 2,000 words to tell the world that she's not bothered about her critics and, in fact, she enjoys the attention. Her advice to The Plastics is to ignore the haters, and to get on with their own fun-filled lives regardless. It's good advice actually, it's certainly what I would have advised them to do and, presumably, Jodie will be marking her own words and rising above the chorus of boos coming from the Mush community. Won't she?